


Haknyeon Shits on Sunwoo's Dick

by orphan_account



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Copious use of homophobic slurs, He SHITS on his fucking DICK, He really does shit on his dick, He shits on his dick, Literal shit post, M/M, Scat, Shit, shitpost
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-21
Updated: 2019-09-21
Packaged: 2020-10-25 08:53:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20721512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: He shits on his dick.





	Haknyeon Shits on Sunwoo's Dick

**Author's Note:**

> "deobi have been too comfortable lately" - a fellow deobi shitposter in the DMS, minutes before convincing me to write the very first The Boyz scatfic.
> 
> You've heard of shitposts, now get ready for... shit posts.
> 
> I'm sorry, but not really. Trigger warning for lots of homophobic slurs. And shit. He shits on his dick.

It started as a semi-joking, drunken heart to heart. Truth or dare without the forfeits. 20 Questions. A poor excuse to indulge in sexual playground talk, that their sober, masculine veneers would never allow them to indulge in.

The question was _what's the weirdest thing you're into_? Sunwoo went first.

"I'm kinda into... feet? God, this is embarrassing. But when girls wear high heels and fishnets? My little man goes WHOOSH!"

Sunwoo does a shadow-puppet impression of popping a boner, and they laugh.

"So..." Haknyeon pushes, "kinda like how Kevin is into feet?"

Sunwoo stops laughing. "God, no, I'm not a _faggot_, Hak."

Haknyeon stops laughing.

It's silent, Sunwoo's stern face illuminated amber by the dorm lamp. 

"So, like..." Sunwoo starts, taking a big gurgle of their vodka bottle, trying to ease the uncomfortable atmosphere, "...what are _you_ into?"

Haknyeon debates whether or not to say it, sitting on the hardwood floor among their empty beer cans. But fuck it. He's drunk.

"Would you hate me if I was gay, Sunwoo?"

Sunwoo gags on the vodka still in his mouth, before swallowing it raw. Even in the face of Haknyeon's impromptu coming out, he still doesn't waste a drop of alcohol. Good boy.

Haknyeon wills himself to not think about Sunwoo swallowing sexually. He wills his little man down. Now is _not_ the time for boners.

"I mean," Sunwoo warbles, slurring intensely, "...no? Fuck I dunno. I mean I hate faggots, but I only hate faggots like Kevin, y'know? I don't mind faggots who don't act like faggots. Like you! You're a cool faggot, Haknyeon."

He clocks the bemused look on Haknyeon face, and restumbles over what he's just said.

"Uh, uh," Sunwoo says, "uh, when I say faggot, that's me being like - supportive of faggots. Cause like, I'm so comfortable with them I can reclaim their slurs with them, y'know? It's like... feminist, or something. Even thought I hate women. Haknyeon, you fucking faggot."

Haknyeon laughs, genuine and full. "It's fine, I get it. Thank you for being cool with me being a..." Haknyeon pauses around the slur, the word feeling heavy and loaded in his own mouth, "_faggot_."

Sunwoo hides his blush behind another gurgle of vodka. "So..." he tries again, "...what are you into? Is it just fucking dudes?"

Haknyeon pauses. He remembers what he's really into. Which is infinitely more embarrassing than just being gay. The sound of Sunwoo gurgling Zubrowka draws him out of his thoughts. He swallows, and resumes slurring.

"Cause if you're just into fucking dudes, that's boring. Everyone likes a little anal. There's gotta be something else you're into, like-"

"Shit."

Sunwoo doesn't skip a beat. "What?"

"I'm into shit."

Sunwoo pauses. Takes a moment to process his words. Then slams the bottle of vodka down.

"You're into SHIT?"

Haknyeon cowers, knocking over a beer can in his plight. "...I, I."

Sunwoo takes a deep breath. Exhales. Looks at Haknyeon again, face somewhat lighter.

"Sorry, sorry. I didn't mean it. So. Like... 2 girls 1 cup? Is that what gets you off? That's weird, dude."

Haknyeon gulps. "No, not exactly..."

Sunwoo is leaning in now, when barely 2 seconds ago he was recoiling from him. He looks engrossed in Haknyeon's scat spaghetti. He's within kissing distance. 

_Stay down little man._

But it's futile.

Haknyeon's little man is rising.

Haknyeon has a semi.

"...I'm... uh..."

"Yeah?" Sunwoo eggs him on. Haknyeon's eyes flicker from Sunwoo's lips to his eyes - which were now hooded, staring back at Haknyeon's lips.

Haknyeon was full mast now. All ships sailing. All flags rising.

"I... uh... like shitting on, on people's dicks..."

Sunwoo edges in, closer. Haknyeon can smell the vodka wafting off his breath. He feels like he's being surrounded with his smell. The liquor, Sunwoo's off-brand aftershave, the heady scent of the body odour he's tried so desperately to mask with his Axe Deodorant... he's so fucking hard.

His lips are so plump, he just wants to -

Sunwoo kisses him. 

No finesse. Just a drunken, sloppy mash of lips and tongues. Haknyeon moans - loud - into the younger's mouth, and that eggs him on. Sunwoo's tongue works its way into Haknyeon's hot, waiting mouth, licking all around him. His teeth bite on Haknyeon's lip, and he grabs a fistful of Haknyeon's freshly dyed hair and tugs. Haknyeon ruts against him, whining.

Sunwoo pulls back, and knocks all the beer cans out the way, pushing Haknyeon down on his back.

It's a sight straight out of Haknyeon's wet dreams. Sunwoo straddling him, lips wet and glazed with his own saliva; his gaze feral. 

That, and he's hard. He's hard, too. Sunwoo's dick looks like it's about to poke a hole straight through his sweatpants.

Haknyeon lets our an unsteady _uhhh_... feeling himself leak precum in his underwear.

"Y-yeah...?" Sunwoo tries for dominance, his shaky voice giving him away, "y-you wanna... fuck, you wanna... shit on my dick?"

Haknyeon can't breathe. He nods instead.

He's gonna cum in his fucking pants.

"Yeah..." Sunwoo says, hand reaching into his own sweatpants, jerking himself off. Haknyeon wants to bat his hand away and feel his cock for himself, heavy in his hands. Hakyeon wants to feel Sunwoo's hot, white spurts glaze his own skin. He wants to lick it off his hands, finally getting to taste him.

He can't though. He's frozen. It feels like he's suspended in horny time, and Sunwoo is the one dangling him there.

Haknyeon moans, and humps the air instead; the friction from his underwear rubbing him in all the right ways. Sunwoo's knees on either side of his hips is the only thing keeping him there.

"Yeah," Sunwoo begins again, eyes closed, getting lost in his own pleasure. Haknyeon wants his attention; Haknyeon wants him to jerk _him_ off. "Yeah, you're my little shit pig, aren't you, Hakky? Y.. yeah... you wanna shit on my dick, don't you Hak? You fucking faggot. You f-fucking... slut."

That does it.

Haknyeon thrusts once, twice, and creams himself.

He's too busy writhing and twitching on the floor, eyes shut, that he misses Sunwoo's little gasp.

When he opens his eyes, it's to the sight of Sunwoo's cock out. Sunwoo hissing, squeezing out the last drops of cum.

"Hmm," Haknyeon tries.

Sunwoo's eyes open, and he drops his messy hand from his cock. As if he's been caught doing something he shouldn't.

"Hm?" 

"Lemme lick..." Haknyeon tries, eyes fluttering. Sunwoo gasps, before he can tell himself not to.

Sunwoo stretches his palm out to Haknyeon's face, tentative.

Haknyeon darts his tongue out and licks. Laps it up. Every salty morsel. He finds the strength to lift his head up, and he runs his tongue sloppy all over Sunwoo's fingers. Deepthroats them.

Sunwoo stutters out a moan

Haknyeon would be smug, if he wasn't still drunk as fuck.

It's sometime between Sunwoo asking _did'y'cum_, and Sunwoo collapsing on him, that they enter a peaceful drunken slumber.

-

When they wake up, it's to the sound of Sangyeon ranting and raving up a storm. Haknyeon looks around him, bleary eyed. Sunwoo is still pressed on top of him, and they're surrounded by spilled liquor and empty bottles.

Normally Haknyeon hates Sangyeon's rants, but right now, he has every right to be angry.

Sunwoo lifts himself and stands, wobbly and hungover. It's only then, looking down, that Haknyeon remembers his dried-up, crusty cum-laden underwear - obvious wet patch on his crotch.

God this is embarrassing.

"Go fucking wash yourselves and sober up, and then clean this fucking room up," Sangyeon seethes, "I'm so tired of you fucking _faggots_."

Haknyeon's dick gives an interested twitch in its cum-encrusted cocoon, at being called a faggot again.

Before Haknyeon can stand up, Jacob is trailing his way into the living room.

"I'll tidy up for them," he says, despite Sangyeon's protests.

"I'll massage your feet after you're done!" Kevin shouts. Jacob gives Haknyeon a sly smile, as he starts picking up beer cans.

Haknyeon sighs, shaking his head.

Fucking footfags. They deserve the rope.

-

Haknyeon stumbles his way to the shower, trailing off clothes on the way there. He keeps the shower curtain open, and the door unlocked. He has a gut feeling.

He turns on the shower, letting the warm water run off his body in rivets. He can't quite bring his spaghetti arms to reach for the soap, but the water is relaxing him. God, he fucking reeks.

He stands there for a bit. Slowly, his arm regains strength. He doesn't reach for the soap. He leans against the shower wall, arm reaching behind himself.

He prods one finger in his asshole, gently. It slightly burns, from only using water as lube. But it feels nice. He forces his index finger all the way in, with a tiny _ouch_. Then he pulls it out. Back in. Out, in, out, in...

His face collapses against the wall, losing himself to the sensation. It feels good. He feels slightly aware of the bathroom door watching him, as if he's putting on a show.

While fucking himself on his fingers, he remembers his gut feelings.

His gut is proved right, when he feels - rather than hears - someone barging in the bathroom, and hears someone locking the door behind them.

His hands stop, but don't slide out of his ass.

They stay buried in there.

Waiting for something.

"Show me how those tits fart."

Haknyeon farts in surprise.

"Hey, cool, I wasn't expecting that to work."

Haknyeon turns his head. It's Sunwoo.

Sunwoo isn't looking at him. He's looking at his ass.

"Holy fuck," Sunwoo says, dragging his trousers and shirt off himself, his gaze unwavering, "your ass is _huge_."

Haknyeon smiles, sheepish. He starts gingerly fingering himself again, egged on by Sunwoo's appreciation.

"Yeah, it's pretty big."

"No I mean," and Sunwoo's naked, sliding up against him, "it's huge."

Sunwoo starts jacking his floppy dick, getting it hard. He scoops water with his left hand and uses it to give him some lubrication. The way Haknyeon's twisting his neck to watch hurts, The way he's twisting his wrist to finger himself hurts.

So he let's his fingers slip out.

He'll hopefully be getting the real deal soon, anyway.

"No, I mean like..." and the hand Sunwoo isn't jacking off with smacks Haknyeon's ass and grips it, making Haknyeon whine, "like... I used to accidentally follow Jacob into the showers. And this is bigger than Jacob." He spanks him again for added emphasis, slapping his cockhead on his cheek for good measure.

Haknyeon pushes his ass into it, like the dumb slut he is.

"Wait, you used to fuck Jacob?" Haknyeon mumbles, incredulous.

"Yeah. Still not gay, though. That was before Jacob started dating that other faggot in the band." Another spank. Haknyeon's cock is dribbling.

Haknyeon says as much: "Please fuck me, already."

Sunwoo smiles. "Oh, I thought you'd never ask. Finally gonna shit on my dick, Hak?"

Haknyeon lets out a full-bodied moan at that, so loud everyone else in the dorm hears.

"Y-yeah... gonna shit on your dick, oppa..."

Sunwoo laughs, and rams his barely-wet cock up Haknyeon's dry ass. Haknyeon screams.

"Oh shit, sorry. Should I have used lube?"

Haknyeon cringes. "N-no, it's fine. This is fanfiction. My ass will self-lubricate in 2 sentences."

"This is fanfic?" Sunwoo says, "I don't exist? Epic. Let's fuck."

And with that, Haknyeon's ass squirts out some self-made omega lube, and Sunwoo gets to thrusting.

5 minutes of slippery sex action later, and Haknyeon is squealing like the little slutty shit pig he is.

It's in the middle of Sunwoo hammering his prostate like a jackhammer, that Haknyeon feels it.

"Oh... ohh f-fuck... Sunwoo, I'm gonna..."

It's too late. His intestines go for it.

He sharts over Sunwoo's dick.

He feels it before he sees it, the way the lube inside him feels slightly thicker; slightly gooier. The dick in his ass pushes in and out slower, forcing its way through his turgid mess.

He smells it before he sees it, and it smells rancid.

But then he twists his head.

He sees it.

Sunwoo's cock, coated in his shit. His thick, pink, hard cock, splattered in his shit. It's everything Haknyeon's wanted, and more.

"Haknyeon?" Sunwoo says, still fucking him.

Haknyeon whines, horny out of his mind. He can't form words.

Sunwoo translates his whine, thankfully.

"Hak? This is fucking gross."

His cock dribbles at that.

"Mhm..."

"Well," Sunwoo sighs, resigning, "let's turn this shitshow into a chocolate vanilla sundae."

And then he cums in his shit-caked ass, thick white spunk mixing with his shit.

Before Haknyeon passes out, the last thing he remembers is whining 'oppa', and blasting over the shower wall.

-

They wake up to Sangyeon looming over them, again. This time, covered in shit and cum.

"I fucking _hate_ faggots."

With that, Sangyeon leaves.

Haknyeon hears Jacob and Kevin laughing at them.

This time, he doesn't care.

Sunwoo holds him closer, in his shit-dazed stupor.

"I love my little shit pig."

Haknyeon smiles.

He loves Sunwoo, too.

**Author's Note:**

> I'd apologise for this, but my apology would be insincere. I'm not sorry. I cried laughing while I wrote this bullshit.
> 
> And I did it in the name of love.


End file.
